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Archive for the 'France, We Taunt You' Category

Dog Days of the Tour de France; Stages that only a Michael Vick could love

Monday, July 30th, 2007 by Insider

In addition to drug scandals, the 07 Tour de France has been dogged by dog collisions. Given that it is one of the largest sporting events in the world you would think that people could have kept their dogs tied up, at least for the few minutes it takes for the peloton to ride by. [...]

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Losers from 2,500 Years Ago Resent Depiction as Losers

Monday, March 19th, 2007 by A Senior Administration Official

… the film (“300″) has sparked outrage in modern Iran, which denounced the blockbuster’s depiction of the ancient battle as “hostile behavior which is the result of cultural and psychological warfare.” According to Reuters, poor-quality pirated DVDs are already circulating in Iran and a broad spectrum of government leaders and bloggers have denounced the movie [...]

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French People Getting Fat; Cankles on the Champs

Saturday, January 27th, 2007 by Insider

This trend imported from America would really gall Charles de Gaulle; the French are getting fatter by the year. In fact according to NPR, the rate of obesity in France has doubled in recent years, to 12 percent — a figure approaching U.S. fat stats.
For a country whose populace generally considers itself a cut [...]

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It’s official: Lance Beats French Again and Is Completely Vindicated

Wednesday, May 31st, 2006 by Insider

Below are the facts as laid out in newly released report commissioned the International Cycling Union on allegations that Armstrong used performance-enhancing drugs during his first win in 1999.
1. Most importantly, Armstrong is cleared of all allegations of steroid use as was widely reported in the French media.
2. The tests on urine samples were [...]

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Proving she is not just a figment of our collective imaginations – Melissa Theuriau in action

Monday, May 15th, 2006 by Chad

In the interest of helping Insider improve Franco-American relations I offer this video of Smokin Hot French Anchor Woman Melissa Theuriau.
Ignore the cheesy soft porn music and the fact that you can’t understand a word she says.
The same site has the Smokin Hot Univision Host Sofia Vegara for your viewing pleasure.

Technorati tags: Melissa [...]

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France #1 Export: Melissa Theuriau

Monday, May 15th, 2006 by Insider

It is possible that French Newscaster Melissa Theuriau has done more to improve American attitudes on France and French culture than any other living person.

Say what you want about the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre, or Parisian street cafes, but for many Internet searchers Melissa would be #1 on any trip taken to Gaul. Even [...]

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Government Education Monopolies Work as Poorly in France as the do in the U.S.

Sunday, May 14th, 2006 by Insider

From Marginal Revolution:
The United State’s has one of the most admired university systems in the world and one of the most deplored k-12 systems. Could the difference have something to do with the fact that universities operate in a competitive market with lots of private suppliers while k-12 is dominated by monopolistic, government provided [...]

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Melissa Theuriau Falls Into Bath, News At 11

Monday, May 8th, 2006 by A Senior Administration Official

Mediagrove pointed us to this interview with our favorite newscaster, Melissa Theuriau. Google’s translation may be suspect …
TV-leisures: You are very young. How did you fall into the bath from the presentation?
Mélissa Theuriau: The antenna was offered to me, very naturally. However, I had never dreamed some. Three years ago, I worked with LCI, the [...]

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Viva L’VOIP! Skype Surpasses the Population of France

Friday, April 28th, 2006 by Insider

Skype is now bigger than France.
Skype just passed 100 million registered users, a milestone reached in roughly 30 months. Even more remarkably, it has nearly doubled in size since last September.
Meanwhile, France which has been around for several hundred years longer than Skype has just 68 million users and is barely growing. If [...]

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Are French Brains Like Citroens — Quirky and Low-Performing?

Monday, March 27th, 2006 by A Senior Administration Official

A professor at the UK’s University of Ulster has analyzed IQ scores across Europe and found the French averaged 94 — well below the British Isles (100) and Germany (107).
This goes a long way toward explaining why students in a country with chronically high unemployment are protesting legislation making it less costly for businesses to [...]

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French Students, President Share Job Skills

Friday, March 24th, 2006 by A Senior Administration Official

“Embarrassed French diplomats tried to explain away the walk-out, saying that their ministers all needed a toilet break at the same time.”
- The Times of London on why French President Jacques Chirac and three ministers left an EU summit meeting. The real reason appears to be that Chirac was offended when a French businessperson began [...]

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Having surrendered to everyone else, France pondering an attack on Apple Computer

Friday, March 17th, 2006 by Insider

With its economy stagnant and its huge Muslim integration problems still simmering, the French Parliament has decided to focus on the burning issue of whether or not iPods should be forced to open up to other music services. The French are debating whether to require iPods to be able to play music purchased from competing [...]

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When Hot French Anchorwomen Go Topless, Independent Sources’ Action News Desk Is There

Tuesday, March 14th, 2006 by A Senior Administration Official

We take our obligation to cover Southern California news seriously. So when we learned that there are topless photos of French news babe Melissa Theuriau in the new edition of the French magazine Voici, we thought about our mission statement, our strategy, and the photos’ complete irrelevance to them. How could we fit the new [...]

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Come For The Food, Stay For The Riots

Tuesday, November 22nd, 2005 by A Senior Administration Official

France wants you back!
You just have to understand, what you saw wasn’t rioting, it was … umm, barbecue?
The recent rioting that scarred the suburbs of Paris and other French cities, leaving about 9,000 vehicles and many suburban buildings burned, prompted a drop in tourism, Transport Minister Dominique Perben told the National Assembly.
… French officials have [...]

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Polygamy to blame for riots? Why not?

Wednesday, November 16th, 2005 by Insider

France’s employment minister considers the above family to be unemployable and dangerous (ed. note: so do we)
From the Financial Times (UK)
France’s employment minister on Tuesday fingered polygamy as one reason for the rioting in the country.
Gérard Larcher said multiple marriages among immigrants was one reason for the racial discrimination which ethnic minorities faced in the [...]

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