And If You Mailed It Yesterday, It Would Never Get There
Early Sunday morning I hustled up to the LAX Post Office in order to overnight a check. At one time you could use Express Mail to mail an item on Sunday and have it arrive Monday.
The lady at the counter punched in the destination zip code. “It’ll arrive Wednesday,” she said.
“But I thought this was overnight delivery!”
“Express Mail doesn’t take packages on Sunday any more.”
“But then it should be there Tuesday, right? They’ll pick it up tomorrow, Monday, and it’ll be there the next day?”
“The computer says if you drop it off today it’ll be there Wednesday.”
“But if I drop it off tomorrow …”
“… it will be there Tuesday.”
“So if I wait a day to drop it off, it will get there a day earlier?”
“Yes.”
So I wonder: if I drop it off Tuesday, will it arrive instantaneously?
—
The lady at the counter did explain that since there was no Express Mail on Sunday — it’s been discontinued — the computer rolls the delivery guarantee back to the three day service. “It SHOULD get there on Tuesday,” she said, “but …”
It is the Post Office, after all.
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July 29th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
I started on a journey about a year ago
to a little town called Morrow in the State of Ohio.
I’ve never been much of a traveler, and I really didn’t know
that Morrow was the hardest place I’d ever try to go.
Said he to me, “Now let me see if I have heard you right.
You’d like to go to Morrow and return tomorrow night.
You should have gone to Morrow yesterday and back today
for the train that goes to Morrow is a mile upon its way.
If you had gone to Morrow yesterday now don’t you see,
you could have gone to Morrow and returned today at three
For the train today to Morrow, if the schedule is right,
today it goes to Morrow and returns tomorrow night.”
August 2nd, 2008 at 5:45 pm
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