Not The Onion: Lawyers prove to be too dull to save the world
From Bloomberg:
— Legal TV, the U.K. television channel devoted to lawyers, canceled a reality show where solicitors were asked to save the world from fictional disasters because it was “like watching paint dry.”
The 10 U.K. lawyers selected from 200 candidates were so “useless” producers couldn’t air an episode set in a luxury cottage where lawyers were asked to plan London’s rescue after catastrophic floods, Legal TV spokesman Davy Bal said today. One lawyer suggested they refuse the brief and go home.
“They were happy to let London drown, it seemed,” Bal, a former solicitor, said in a telephone interview today.
Legal TV, a two-year-old channel based in Birmingham, is rethinking its entire broadcast strategy after it also canceled another reality show where cameras followed lawyers around companies. The three episodes were too boring to broadcast, said Stewart Lawley, a television producer.
“It proved to be a little more stale than expected,” Lawley said, adding that he considered the London flood show a “complete disaster.”
The problem wasn’t with the television production or Legal TV’s organization, said Graham Gibbons, a Birmingham litigator who was among the 10 contestants chosen to participate in “Lawyers Save The World.” It was the crowd.
“Too Dull’
“There was too much talk about ‘Let’s clarify the brief here,’ and ‘Are we the right people to do this?”’ Gibbons said.
“The conclusion was, lawyers can’t save the world,” he said.
You have to hand it to the folks at Legal TV. They know that they have a failing channel concept and they are probably more than a little pissed off at the legal community for failing to support their effort. So what do they do? They turn on the lawyers and, knowing that there is always interest in lawyer jokes, they crank out an unnecessary press release on why the shows are being canceled. The result is world wide exposure; certainly a lot more than they would have gotten if the shows had being aired.
Let’s see if they follow up with another press release including some of these gems:
Did you hear about the terrorists who took a whole courtroom full of lawyers hostage?
They threatened to release one every hour until their demands where met.
What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra?
He gets taller.
What should you do if you find a lawyer buried up to his neck in cement?
Get more cement.
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a liar?
The pronunciation.
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?
One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
You’re trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
Shoot the lawyer. Twice.
What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
His partners.
Well, you’ve got the idea.
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November 5th, 2007 at 1:53 pm
[…] « Not The Onion: Lawyers prove to be too dull to save the world […]
November 5th, 2007 at 2:19 pm
[…] all the details here […]
November 14th, 2007 at 1:52 pm
[…] Check it out! While looking through the blogosphere we stumbled on an interesting post today.Here’s a quick excerpt [IMG evil-lawyer.jpg] From Bloomberg: — Legal TV, the U.K. television channel devoted to lawyers, canceled a reality show where solicitors were asked to save the world from fictional disasters because it was “like watching paint dry.” The 10 U.K. lawyers selected from 200 candidates were so “useless” producers couldn’t air an episode set in a luxury cottage where lawyers were asked to plan London’s rescue after catastrophic floods, Legal TV spokesman Davy Bal said today. One lawyer suggeste […]
December 6th, 2007 at 7:23 am
my main theory on why the show didnt work was firstly because we are lawyers not actors, and the whole scenario was fictional, and certainly not legal. the people were not handpicked at all. i didnt even send my cv in, just a photo. not even 10 lawyers turned up - rubbish they picked from 200.
Secondly the brief was misleading - saying it was about climate change - even actors would have faultered without any time to get into character or any notion of what the performance was to be about. Even at the time of filming they were still trying to dripfeed us information.
Thirdly the situation was totally unrealistic given that there were no support specialists like input from engineers which you would clearly have if you were tasked with saving the world in reality.
Fourthly there was no structure to the exercise - legal tv just relied on a bunch of lawyers to become directors, scriptwriters, actors and bloody producers - come on guys! there was no competitive element, and lawyers are competitive. There were no prizes to be won. Not even any kind of game format with any rules or anything.
Why did this happen ? Because Legal TV have no idea how to make interesting tv. the whole concept was ill thought out, unworkable and abysmally planned. who’s idea was it anyway?
Note to legal tv - lawyers are professionals not circus performers mate. if u wanna make people love em, then take em out, ply them with champagne then play truth or dare or naked twister with them. we love to party!!!
idea - lawyers on the piss, sponsored by legal tv, hosted at the cittee of yorke pub in chancery lane, £1.70 a pint and central (and right next to my office, although dont necessarily mention that).
December 6th, 2007 at 1:56 pm
Listen guys, as Barristers, they say we are natural communicators (or is it manipulators?), but, one key asset that some tend to forget, is that we know when to STOP!
After I pointed out that by some weird intervention of fate,
I had participated on “LAWYERS SAVE THE WORLD,” my learned friend discovered LegalTV’s schedule for me. Yes, hindsight does make you ask important questions:
Q.1) How could a bunch of English (mostly) Lawyers compete with shows like a “Thong for a Thong”?
Q.2) What could the unknown channel really have to say about Lawyers that would be so novel, controversial and entertaining for humankind to take any interest?
All they basically say is this:
1) Lawyers cannot save the world from climate change. (Surprise…Surprise!)
2) Outside court, Lawyers are just as ordinary as your average human being. (Shock!)
3) Actors are better at performing because they can swear, cry and display emotional insecurity, publicly and uncontrollably and are hugely entertaining at this. (Wow!)
(Answers: Q.1. I don’t know; Q.2. Nothing)
I guess after this bitter and confusing moment, I should consider myself to be amongst one of the lawyers who “could not be bothered” with the show, since I am not one of their free regular presenters or according to their punch line “like watching paint dry.” However, if this is actually true and the production was so well-planned out, how could they have overlooked that they simply had “the wrong crowd.”
Perhaps it is because of this “dull” perception or “fat-cat” one that we are forced to plan water-skiing holidays far away in Mauritius and drown our sorrows in Green Island…with those whom are oblivious about being associated with us, or do not realise that they are biologically related to us. (Girls, don’t forget your bikini and find Luis!)
Anyway, when you have enough of your holiday and extravagance to compensate for your legal dullness, then watch out for the February 2008 issue of Counsel (I think). Yep, there should be my own little amateur write-up or “cut and paste” version of lawyers (can/not) save the world under the title: ENTERTAINMENT v LAW.
Heema
December 13th, 2007 at 4:33 am
I am the supposedly the ‘dull lawyer’ you will see in the clip from the Legal TV press release, who has kindly by another site been called a ‘pretty young half-asleep English female solicitor’. It seems to me that this particular clip has been used to signify the sheer dullness of the entire show. I will freely admit the press release was to put it bluntly rubbish (I am sure Angelina Jolie would have done a much better job), if I had a chance to practice I would have certainly been more confident and not read off the script. But do I Sian the 22 year old Southampton University law student represent a dull, flat, useless lawyer? In fact I doubt many ‘young’ students would confidently stand up in a room of solicitors and barristers and speak into a camera without faltering. I also doubt many pregnant 3rd year law students who are studying already with a 2 year old toddler would gratuitously take the time out of their schedule (or would have the energy for that matter) to try to promote the image of lawyers. I am far from the ‘useless’ person I have been painted as. I realized when I got the brief that the format of the show was never going to make good TV. Why? We were providing a response to a disaster that had already occurred, our job was to mitigate future damage. Such a response (however effective) will not provide the drama and excitement that reality television viewer’s demand (Note Big Brother – people love to see swearing, fighting, love, nudity and tears). I am however naturally optimistic and did partake in the show with enthusiasm and commitment. To be described as ‘flat’ is laughable, it is clear attempt to blame the participants for a badly thought out show.
Also equally comical is the state of the ‘luxury’ cottage. Even for a distinguished lawyer it would be a hard stretch to class this as luxury! It was arranged that I would stay at the cottage overnight before filming began the following day. When I arrived everywhere was covered in thick dust, the bedrooms were totally unfurnished with no carpets simply only a dusty mattress, no bedding and yes yet more dust. This was an initial sign that Legal TV had little respect for their participants. I understandably could not stay there and I was not alone. Legal TV then allowed us to stay in some other accommodation which was equally bizarre. A run down house where Legal TV’s interns all lived together. A couple of the unfortunate people who lived there were quickly kicked out of their rooms (all their belongings and bedding left behind) to allow us ( us being myself and a barrister who was also expected to endure a night of ‘luxury) to stay there. So if I did look ‘half asleep’ in the clip – I think in consideration of the eventful night before this was really no surprise.
Well I will give credit where credit is due. Legal TV did achieve something quite spectacular. They did manage to make lawyers give up a day of their time for free! Now that is an achievement in itself.
At the end of the day we were all given a ‘goody bag’, a token of their appreciation I guess…. oh yes!!! What did it contain??? A Legal TV cap and some Legal TV t-shirts. What has become of such treasures? Well, my daughter’s crèche needed adult T-shirts for all the messy fun they have….so now there are a few toddlers running around in legal TV t-shirts… Quite symbolic I think.
December 13th, 2007 at 8:38 am
Thank God you wrote that last comment for free. If you billed like most lawyers I know we’d be broke. Seriously your experience showed that even lawyers can be snookered by reality TV producers. Your story sounds a lot like “Kid Nation” but they have the excuse of being little kids, you should have known better. Then again if someone made the same offer to us, we would have probably taken it as well.
Another point is that the Legal TV folks did a rather crass job of blaming lawyers for the failure of their lousy programming. But the fact that no one held Legal TV accountable shows the low regard that the general public holds the legal profession. Even lower, it turns out, than reality TV production.
January 15th, 2008 at 8:48 am
How ironic…!!! Now the Hollywood actors and writers are on strike too, and its pretty obvious that English lawyers don’t appear to want to replace them…(not on Legal TV anyway) Maybe we could get heros from Bollywood to script, cast, act, film and distribute world-wide a remake within a week (so long as we could also persuade George Clooney or superman Tom Welling to make an appearance, perhaps some real lawyers would rethink too??) Imagine, lawyers saving the world with music, singing, dancing and romance. Could it work, where everything else has failed???
January 15th, 2008 at 8:56 am
Is anyone else reading this?