Tom didn’t have to get busted again

Tom Sizemore has been arrested again. Here are the top 5 ways he could have avoided this fate.

#1. Stay away from Bakersfield, California when high. (Central valley police have little better to do other than bust Hollywood drug addicts. Just watch “Cops”.)

#2 When on probation…

a) Don’t hang around people who challenge hotel employees to fights.

b) Don’t hang around people who challenge hotel employees to fights while they are violating their parole.

c) Don’t hang around people who challenge hotel employees to fights while they are violating their parole and carrying a crack pipe.

d) Don’t hang around people who challenge hotel employees to fights while they are violating their parole, carrying a crack pipe, and don’t leave when the cops are called (also see #1 above).

e) Don’t hang around people who challenge hotel employees to fights while they are violating their parole, carrying a crack pipe, don’t leave when the cops are called (also see #1 above), and you are sitting outside with methamphetamine .

#3. Don’t ever forget your Whizzinator, you never know when you are going to need it.

#4. Hire people to follow you around with fake film cameras so that when cops come up you tell them that you are filming “True Hollywood Story.”

#5. Tell them that they have you confused with Robert Downey, Jr. and that it happens all of the time.

Bonus:

#6. As a fall-back, stop using illegal drugs.

Tom Sizemore Whizzinator

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 8th, 2007 at 6:21 pm by Insider and is filed under Loons. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.