In brief (aka the headlines for this story that we ended up rejecting):

* “‘Sacked’ in more ways that one”
* “First class 1in-flight services1″
* “Hardly seems fair that when I fly I have trouble getting a second bag of peanuts and this guy is getting full penetration intercourse.”
* “The hostest with the mostest”!
* “Duty-free sex”
*”The English (Not So) Patient”

Lisa Robertson [photo: Daily Mail]

It reads like a Penthouse Forum fantasy….the mile high club with a stewardess in the loo. But instead of Penthouse, this story is in the Los Angeles Times and it is the real life story of Ralph (rhymes with “staff”) Fiennes and Qantas Airways stewardess Lisa Robertson. Here’s the Telegraph’s description the the 38-year old flight attendant’s “frantic unprotected sex” with the 44-year old star of the English Patient:

Australia’s national airline today said it had sacked an air hostess for having mile-high sex with Hollywood heartthrob Ralph Fiennes in a business-class toilet.

The move came a day after the flight attendant’s lurid confession of a “10 out of 10” romp with the star on a flight between Australia and India appeared in British media.

“Qantas airways announced today that flight attendant Lisa Robertson’s employment contract to operate on Qantas aircraft had been terminated,” the airline said in a one-line statement.

Robertson, 38, told Britain’s Sunday Mirror there was “instant chemistry” between her and Fiennes, and that after having sex in the toilet they made love several times in Fiennes’s Mumbai hotel room.

“Ralph Fiennes is gorgeous and the chemistry between us was amazing. What woman wouldn’t want to have sex with him? He was the best lover I’ve ever had — a 10 out of 10,” she said.

Robertson said Fiennes began kissing her in the curtained area of the plane where she was taking her break, and as the pair became more passionate, she led him to the toilet cubicle.

“I thought if I was going to get the sack, it would be worth it,” she said. “I knew everything was against the rules and wrong but I didn’t care. I was going for it.”

More on the story.

“I just stood up, reached down for his hand and told him to follow me,” the former undercover police officer said. “We went into the toilet and locked the door, and off came much of our clothes.”

When Robertson…

“…visited the actor at his luxury hotel suite, where Fiennes answered the door wearing “nothing but a towel” and the sex continued.”

‘He dropped the towel and was wandering around naked. I was laughing, I thought it was hilarious. But I wander around naked a lot at home, so it didn’t bother me. He had quite a nice body. It’s obvious he’s not a gym work-out kind of guy. For a man he’s got quite a slender body, but I was attracted to him. It was a luxurious room better than where I was staying. There was a bottle of red wine with a note on it saying, “Welcome Mr Fiennes.” I was like a kid in a sweet shop.

The sex was unprotected which is ironic given that Fiennes was travelling to India on behalf of the United Nations Children’s Emergency Fund to talk about HIV awareness.

‘I was a bit shocked that he didn’t wear a condom. Looking back, I think of it as dangerous behaviour and hypocritical given that he was going to India to talk about AIDS.

More irony:

She was a former undercover police officer.

She is taking medication for depression.

Fiennes response was that the 38-year-old flight attendant was the “sexual aggressor” (this is PR speak for “she was a slut.”) and that he was the “victim.” Right, a victim of ‘repeated, multiple location frantic, torrid sex.’

By her account, she offered him a selection of champagne, orange juice and water. He chose a fourth option, not available to most airline passengers, doing the ‘nasty’ then and now.

She was outted by a jealous male colleague. When Robertson later called Fiennes after she was suspended here was his response:

“I’ve been scarred by an incident about a year ago when my life was dragged through the tabloids. My whole relationship was destroyed. It’s ruined my life. You’re just a hostess and you don’t even like your job. You’re not happy in your job. You can get another job.” Then he said, “Let’s have no further phone contact. I’ll call you in a month’s time, just to show you I’m a human being.”

This turned out to be a bad strategic move on his part since her next move was to sell the story to the tabloids.

Robertson says that she did not have her first sexual relationship until the age of 20 and that she has breast implants.

Fiennes has reportedly been dumped by his girlfriend of five months, interior designer Sirin Lewenden, because of “his wandering eye, mood swings and constant demands for sex.”

ralph fiennes

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 20th, 2007 at 9:32 am by Insider and is filed under Funny ... to us. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.