Pop Quiz: Which one of the gals below is a NASA astronaut and which one is a love-sick, psychotic b*tch from hell?

It was a trick question: they’re both psychotic nut cases and if you are a man you are best to stay clear unless you want to find your pet rabbit in the cooker or your girlfriend getting pepper-sprayed. Definitely do not go into outer space with an emotionally unbalanced woman.

Here’s the back story. NASA astronaut Navy Capt. Lisa Marie Nowak (43), was arrested in Florida this week for attacking 30-year-old Air Force Capt. Colleen Shipman, a woman she considered her rival for the love of another astronaut, Navy Cmdr. William A. Oefelein. Nowak pepper sprayed Shipman and tried to kidnap her. Nowak was wearing a black wig, a large trench coat, and adult diapers during the attack.

By all accounts it was a pathetic attempt at an attack and one would expect more from a Navy commander, crazy or not. Nowak followed Shipmen through the Orlando airport and then approached her in the longterm parking lot saying she needed to use Shipman’s cellphone. Her plan, which was flawed as the Space Shuttle Challenger, was to shoot Shipman with pepper spray, which she did. However, all Shipman had to do was drive away from the attack to the nearest parking booth. Orlando Police Department responded and found Nowak at a bus stop waiting to return to the airport terminal.

From the Times:

At the time of her arrest, Nowak was carrying a black bag containing a steel mallet, a 4-inch folding knife, a BB gun, 3 feet of rubber tubing and several garbage bags. A wig was found in a plastic bag in a nearby trash bin.

Police later searched her car at a nearby motel, discovering a love letter to Oefelein, latex gloves, e-mails between Oefelein and Shipman, and handwritten directions to Shipman’s residence near Cape Canaveral.

Police said Nowak drove from Houston wearing diapers so she would not have to stop to relieve herself. (And that was important why?).

It was only this past summer that Nowak flew on a shuttle mission to the International Space Station.

Astronauts should be some of the most psychologically tested individuals in the world. How in the world does a fem psycho-”astronut” make the cut? It’s one thing to slip up and accidentally take some crazy-ass woman to a movie. You get a little embarrassed but it ends soon enough. But in outer space there is no walking away, you’re stuck with the loon which is why the male astronauts depend on NASA to root out the crazies–a task that shouldn’t be all that hard. Anyone thinking that NASA has its act together needs to seriously revisit the subject.

tags: nasa

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 6th, 2007 at 2:41 pm by Insider and is filed under Loons, Your Tax Dollars In Action. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.