Even if you aren’t a sports fan you have to appreciate this prose
The [Miami] Heat are like a group of women who went out for somebody’s birthday, ordered food and wine and spent the next three hours talking and eating and drinking and having a grand old time. And then the check comes and they’re completely floored by the total. Wait, it’s how much??? So they spend the next 25 minutes figuring out who owes what, and there are always 2-3 people who didn’t bring enough cash, so somebody has to cover them (and they’re pissed off about it), and then there’s a girl who left early because she has a kid, and she left only $40 when it’s $75 per person (so everyone’s pissed off about that), and then there’s the one slutty friend who got housed and wants to stick around because she thinks she might have a chance to knock boots with one of the waiters, so one of the other girls has to stay to keep an eye on her and make sure the bus boy doesn’t get involved, and there’s so much drama going on that everyone ends up leaving with a bad taste in their mouth and forgetting that they had a barrel of fun for the first three hours.
Source: ESPN Page 2
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