Onion: FSU to phase out academics; will focus exclusively on athletics
As reported in The Onion:
SARASOTA, FL—Bowing to pressure from alumni, students, and a majority of teaching professors of Florida State University, athletic director Dave Hart Jr. announced yesterday that FSU would completely phase out all academic operations by the end of the 2010 school year in order to make athletics the school’s No. 1 priority.
“It’s been clear for a while that Florida State’s mission is to provide the young men and women enrolled here with a world-class football program, and this is the best way to cut the fat and really focus on making us No. 1 every year,” Hart said.
“While it’s certainly possible for an academic subsidiary to bring a certain amount of prestige to an athletic program, the national polls have made it that our non-athletic operations have become a major distraction.”
FSU’s restructuring program will begin with the elimination of the College of Arts and Sciences, effective October 15.
Brilliant!
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September 14th, 2006 at 9:45 am
Would someone mind reading me the article? My, uhhh.. browser seems to be broke and can’t scroll past the picture.
September 14th, 2006 at 10:05 am
Believe me you are seeing the important part.
September 14th, 2006 at 11:50 am
Could someone call me if there are responses to my comment? Doubt my scrolling problem is going to allow me to see them.