A pair of serial killers is battling it out in the same neighborhood of Phoenix, Arizona. The separate pair of assassins have carried out more than 50 nighttime attacks, leaving 11 dead and many others injured. Serial killer #1 is called the “Baseline Killer” due to the location of his initial attacks.

[He] is described by police as a multipurpose maniac who mixes robberies, abductions and sexual assaults with gratuitous shootings. He has killed six times since August. Detectives released a composite sketch of a black man in dreadlocks.

Perp #2 is the “Serial Shooter. “He initially started out shooting dogs and horses and then later graduated his attacks to people. He has shot at least 22 men and women and appears to be operating out of a light-colored, four-door sedan.

I’m pleased that neither of these losers has gotten a meaningful moniker since the notoriety could spur them on. In fact it’s too bad that the media doesn’t come up with more derogatory names for them such as the “Moronic Killer” and the “Stupid Shooter.” For that matter giving them a name that will cause them problems when they are finally caught would be a good idea too. For example, names like “the Baseline Killer Who Also Ratted Out The Mexican Mafia,” “the Serial Killer Who Happens to Have Sexual Fantasies About His Cell Mates,” or even “the Killer with Severe Groin Rot.” Now those would be deterrents to killing more people and getting even more famous with those names. Perhaps they’d move on to some other city in hopes of losing those identities. Another benefit to less-than-pleasant nicknames would be that with any luck they’d attract less sick women falling in love with them once in jail (such as happened with TookieWilliams, Scott Peterson and even Richard Ramirez).

Anyway it’s terrible for a relatively small city like Phoenix to have not one but two serial killers. As if the 120 degree heat wasn’t enough now they have to deal with this. I guess it’d be too much to hope that the Serial Killer ends up taking out the Baseline Killer or visa-versa but we can always hope.

phoenix baseline killer serial shooter

This entry was posted on Sunday, July 23rd, 2006 at 7:39 pm by Insider and is filed under Loons. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.