I am not going to go into the details of the current fighting in the Gaza Strip and Lebanon, it’s all over the news and it really is just a continuation of the same war that has been going on since 1948. What I want to bring, but kind of dread doing, is a theory that occured during a workplace conversation today.

First the assumptions:

1. Iran is pursuing a nuclear weapons program
2. Iran’s President has stated his belief Israel should be wiped off the map.
3. Iran and Syria have signed a Mutual Defense accord.
4. Iran and Syria are both major backers of Hezbollah.
5. The USA wants to end Iran’s nuclear weapons program.
6. The USA has stated that it holds Syria and Iran accountable for Hezbollah’s actions in kidnapping the two Israeli soldiers.
7. There is trong belief in the Arab world in the Israel is America’s puppetmaster / Jews control America” theories.

Now the theory (or the plot for the newest Tom Clancy novel):

Israel is worried about the Iran’s nuke program. they want to bomb the facilities or have the US do so, but the US won’t because of the situation in Iraq and other diplomatic concerns. To force action Israel stages a kidnapping or goads Hezbollah into actually kidnapping their soldiers. Israel then stages an series of escalations which eventually draws a response from Syria. Israel and Syria engage in fighting and Iran honors it part in the Mutual Defense Treaty by —Attacking American troops in Iraq. America retaliates both on the ground and with airstrikes, many of which target Iranian Nuclear facilities. After the Iranian Nuclear Weapons Program is destroyed Israel withdraws from Gaza and Lebanon, their devious puppetmastering having brought them yet another victory, and the situation defuses.

For the record I think this situation is ludicrous simply because it is so complex that every piece would have to work perfectly, but it made for a good conversation, and if a couple desperate battles with amazing American heroics were thrown in it would make a good novel or movie.

I call dibs on the rights (Copyright 2006 to all you lawyer types).

One scene I have in mind is Iranians attacking and partially overrunning a compound and being fought off by a variety of good looking female Soldiers / Marines who then celebrate thier victory and tenuous hold on life with kissing and mud wrestling. Catherine Bell (Mac on JAG) could be the tough Sergeant who holds them together.

Jay Tea at Wizbang has a smilar but different theory

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 13th, 2006 at 2:23 pm by Chad and is filed under Brilliant, but uncategorizable, War. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.