The end of “What happens in Las Vegas, stays in Las Vegas”

Here’s the pitch of our new reality show “SMS Dispatches from Las Vegas”: We are following a rather “twisted” friend (at least seriously affected) of this blog and who we will call “Hagar” on his extended Las Vegas week-end. Hagar is going to text messaging a few of his friends (including “Dirk”) the play-by-play developments. Previous Hagar trips have involved twins, 17 cocktails in an evening, and massive craps sessions. Hagar’s good friend “Stallion” will also chime in from time-to-time as well.

Please note that “SMS Dispatches from Las Vegas” is not an endorsement of Hagar’s aggressive lifestyle nor do we suggest that this is what one should do when they go to Las Vegas. Instead we are using this opportunity to peek into what happens in sin city via a collection of several technologies including blogging, text messaging, RSS, and (with any luck) camera phone. We’ve asked Hagar to send us text messages though he doesn’t know that we are posting them. We will continue to do so up to the point that he realizes what were doing. “What happens in Las Vegas no longer stays in Las Vegas.”

Hagar [LV] Thur 6:58 pm:

Sunglasses on, cigar going, about to make dramatic entry sequence into Mirage. Expect see a multitude of cameltoes.

Hagar [LV] Thur 10:47 pm:

4 passes for Hagar. Hard ways every which way if you know what I mean.

Independent Sources analysis: 4 passes is quite good at this juncture. Especially hitting them the hard way. Since “Hagar” the the type of individual to bet heavy on himself he should be playing with the house’s money at this point. Always a good sign.

Hagar [LV] Thur 11:18 pm:

Just ramping up. Colored up to all black chips. Starting to feel the love. Being dialed in to video poker. It’s all good.

Independent Sources analysis: He’s now playing only with $100 chips. It’s getting serious. Could get ugly if things turn south. Also, what about the toe?

Hagar [LV] Thur 11:33 pm:

Toe-rific. 100 on the pass bet now. 500 odds.

Independent Sources analysis: The ramp-up continues. Not sure what the point is but even a relatively easy point like a soft 6 or 8 would bring in $700 plus the $500 out there for a pick-up of $1200.00.

Not to be outdone, Dirk who is in Los Angeles just chimmed in with this…

Dirk [LA] Thur 11:35 pm

Hard to fathom but I am actually just leaving blow fish having had drinks with an extrodinary beautiful woman. Would not work for MILF man as she is older than 20.

Hagar [LV] Thur 11:55 pm:

Pit boss is shutting me down on the crackberry. Will update when I can. Down $500 now. Good casino action though.

Independent Sources analysis: Someone needs to tell these casinos that it is 2006 and the “no electronic devices” rule is seriously crimping our ability to blog in real-time. It’s not like we are posting video of the action but that’s not a bad idea.

[It’s now 12:30 local time and I’m logging out for the night. More updates in a.m.]

Hagar [LV] Fri 12:51 pm:

Too many brain cells shot already. So went big last night. Great action at tables and otherwise until 4 am.

Independent Sources analysis: Atta boy!

Hagar [LV] Fri 10:34 pm:

Just finished cheesy dinner at Stack at Mirage. Hittin table now with “Stallion” and girls. Update to follow soon. Wireless devices permitting.

Independent Sources analysis: “Stallion” is another semi-sick individual and who flew in from Los Angeles to join Hagar. Stories of Stallion’s bachelor party are not fit for this blog.

Hagar [LV] Fri 10:42 pm:

Ugly start. Stallion about to shoot.

Hagar [LV] Fri 10:51 pm:

Shooter to the left of the stick man partially brought us back from the dead. Winner 5. Pay the line.

Hagar [LV] Fri 10:53 pm:

Winner ten. Pay the line. Take the don’t. Winner hard.

Independent Sources analysis: I think (hope) he means the # came in as 5-5.

Hagar [LV] Fri 10:58 pm:

Winner eight. Came easy. Stallion’s second pass. Cocktails just arrived…again.

Hagar [LV] Fri 11:17 pm:

Every girl hear has “do me” jeans on and fake b**bs. Many future ex-mrs. hagars…

Hagar [LV] Fri 11:58 pm:

Stallion just got credit at the Mirage. $20k. May be a late night. Girls (dates) are at blackjack which makes viewing much easier.

Hagar [LV] Fri 11:59 pm:

By the way, is $100 tip excessive for the bath room attendant?

Independent Sources analysis: I’m not sure that was a rhetorical question and regardless I’m going to bed.

Hagar [LV] Sat 12:49 pm:

At the cabana poolside at the Bellagio drinking Amstels and bloodies with three other buddies…Dog, PB, Doctor Robora. Stallion coming shortly.

The poolside viewing is mildly disappointing although many small bathing suits and large melons which is nice. Smoked some hooch, drinking more Amstels and ordering lunch.

Independent Sources analysis: A reminder to read the disclaimer at the beginning of this post. Sheesh!

Hagar [LV] Sat 1:10 pm:

Funny incident last night. Beng and Stallion’s wives talked some midwest hic to bet for them on the 40-1 and hit it for $200. Then he didn’t want to give them the money. He kept 1/2, gave the girls each $50 for a hug, and then asked Stallion if they were hookers and in specific, our hook. Ers!!! It was funny. We went to the Club ther Jet for an hour and called it a night at 3. Have reserved sppoks seating at Bellaigo and dinner at prime at 8.

Independent Sources analysis: The wive’s story is funny (though maybe not to them. I’d think it a complement but women can be funny that way. I don’t know what “Ers, sppoks, or the Club ther Jet” all mean if anything since he is typing on a Blackberry.

Hagar [LV] Sat 1:28 pm:

After lunch may do a little dice and watch Yankees who I’m on and Boston who I’m against.

Independent Sources analysis: From what I’ve heard about Hagar, when he says that he’s “on” something like the Yankees, that means $2500 or so for them to win. I don’t know too much about baseball betting but he probably has a few parlays on the game as well.

Hagar [LV] Sat 1:29 pm:

UCLA coes not coming to cabana. They are at the hard rock and too hung [over] and we’re too comfortable to go there.

Stallion[LV] Sat 1:58 pm:

…the real deal was finding Hagar in a cross-dressing “poppabear” club last night. And guess who was the baby cub? Newly hareless Hagar showing off his wares, living large at playa rommagio but all he wants to do is roll the dice. I can tell you when he’s jonesing–puts his finers to the corners of his mouth - makes a circular motion with hand a la rubbing the felt before lift off. Stallion out.

Independent Sources analysis: I have no idea what “baby cub” refers to but perhaps I’ve lived too sheltered of a life. As for the other part of Stallion’s text message, I have heard that one of the problems that people who are addicted to playing craps have in controlling their addiction is the love of rolling the dice on a crowded table. Many aspects of craps addiction are treatable but sufferers say that there is simply no replacement for the thrill of rolling.

Independent Sources analysis: I confirmed with Hagar that this is in fact the real Senator John McCain–and not an off duty body double from the Legends show. Who would have thought McCain likes to shoot dice? As long as he’s not on the “don’t pass” he should be making some nice coin on that table.

Hagar [LV] Sat 9:14 pm:

Nice at dinner at prime. All looking at mcaain photo. Can’t send you. Requires password. We’re trying to make it work. 6 of us here. 5 guys and stallions wife. Just ordered killer seafood platter.

Independent Sources analysis: We got the photo a few minutes later and it’s up on the McCain craps post here.

Hagar [LV] Sat 9:16 pm:

Discussing merits of post dinner craps vs strip club vs nightclubs. All had phoenix suns but won 5 of 5 baseball bets. Craps has been mediocre. Pool was fun. Been cocktailing non stop since lunch.

Hagar [LV] Sat 11:39 pm:

McCain is at the table behind us.

Hagar [LV] Sat 11:59 pm:

Mccains table making noise but no-one has money iin their rack. We just had a hard
ten winner.

Dirk [LA] Sun 6:28 am

Our country is clearly in worse danger then realized

By the way Hagar’s comments
Nice enough gguy passes no 7s
He is by far the funnyest human alive

My attempted immage transformation plan has clearly not yet had the desired
effect.

Independent Sources analysis: Dirk has been attempting to help Hagar clean up his image, which according to Dirk could become a drag on Hagar’s social mobility. After being exposed to Hagar’s last 48 hours via this blog, Dirk is now sadly aware of what the challenge is before him.

Hagar [LV] Sun 2:50 pm:

Checking out now. Stallion an hour behind. 2:30 flight back. Awesome trip.down 2k
Down 2500 but got over 3k in comps. Got back to even at 3am last night and then
gave…..started this email a whikle ago. Now on flight about to push back from
the gate. Awesome few days. Back at 5, kids tonight, drop them at school at 8am.
10am flight tomorrow morning to nyc….2 days of meetings there then to sf for a
day and back in LA thur…….should we all meet at a bar to watch game 1???yeah
baby.

tags: vegas Las Vegas camel toe

This entry was posted on Thursday, June 1st, 2006 at 9:23 pm by Insider and is filed under Brilliant, but uncategorizable. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.