Business 2.0 magazine has published its’ annual 101 Dumbest Moments in Business list. Taking a page from Esquire’s perennial Dubious Achievement Awards, some of our favorites include:

Bollocks the yellow moons and green clovers. Get yer fat arse down and be givin’ me 50 push-ups, boyo.

Amid a rising tide of child obesity, General Mills launches a campaign that touts the health benefits of not skipping breakfast — and opting for such famously healthy foods as Cocoa Puffs and Count Chocula. The company even enlists the Lucky Charms leprechaun, who normally sells “frosted oats and colored marshmallows,” as part of a new “fitness squad” to explain how breakfast builds muscles and attention spans.

If that’s what you mean by f***ing killing someone, would you mind f***ing killing us next?

In February, Microsoft unveils a new version of MSN search, developed at a cost of $100 million, in an attempt to take market share from Google. MSN’s share of Internet search traffic promptly drops by a full percentage point.

Nice job with that pirated DVD bonfire, Tenderfoot.

In May the Scout Association of Hong Kong launches the first merit badge program “focused on respect for and protection of intellectual property rights.”

How much extra does it cost to have the telemarketers join our loved ones in the great beyond?

The Direct Marketing Association rolls out a Deceased Do-Not-Contact list to stop calls to dead relatives. The fee for preventing telemarketers from reaching to the grave: $1 per person.

“The Other White Meat Queen” probably wouldn’t fit on the sash.

The Iowa Pork Producers Association announces that it may retire a contest used to promote its product — due to the lack of interest among young Iowa women in being designated “Pork Queen.”

Call it a merger of equals.

A few weeks after eZiba.com sends out its winter catalog, the call center’s pin-drop silence begins to worry execs. As it turns out, a bug in a program designed to identify the best prospects on eZiba’s mailing list led to the catalog instead being sent to those deemed least likely to respond. “Sadly, our probability estimates were correct,” says eZiba founder Dick Sabot. On Jan. 14, eZiba suspends operations while seeking new investors to cover its cash shortfall. Overstock.com later buys the retailer’s assets for $500,000.

We’d also nominate the banning of hot “booth babes” from videogame trade show E3 and GM throwing a tantrum after the Los Angeles Times’ Dan Neil dared comment on the car maker’s historically inept management.

This entry was posted on Saturday, February 4th, 2006 at 4:00 am by A Senior Administration Official and is filed under Weekend Edition / Features. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.