not the battleship Iowa

San Francisco doesn’t want the battleship Iowa because it might attract the wrong (patriotic) element to its tourist-infested waterfront. Stockton wants the ship, but who will visit it at the inland farming center?

Stockton: you go there

Independent Sources has the solution: bring the Iowa to Los Angeles / Long Beach harbor! And make it the centerpiece of a spectacular new complex showcasing a SoCal specialty: entertainment industry self-congratulation. Our museum will feature Cary Grant, Tom Cruise*, John Wayne, and Tim Conway in a permanent Hollywood-meets-the-Navy exhibition. Some highlights:

“McHale’s Navy (1997)” (Mca Home Video)

“Down Periscope” (David S. Ward)

“In the Navy” (Arthur Lubin)

“Operation Petticoat” (Blake Edwards)

“They Were Expendable” (John Ford)

“Midway (Collector’s Edition)” (Jack Smight)

… as well as “Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea,” “In Harm’s Way,” “PT-109,” and even “NCIS.” As a bonus, there would be a permanent ban on Michael Bay’s Pearl Harbor.

Would you rather see that, or go to Stockton? QED.

In contrast, ever-so-PC San Francisco wants to attach a “dockside museum that will tell the story of minorities in the military, including lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender troops?” (LAT). We mean this in the nicest possible way — who cares? What’s the potential audience for that attraction versus the number of people worldwide who have ever seen Top Gun?

The Bay Area is an especially poor choice for anything related to U.S. military history. In our post Bay Area to Military: Go Back To America, we highlighted SFGate.com writer Cinnamon Stillwell’s summary of recent anti-military activity there:

Not content with simply protesting the war, they’ve trained their sights on all things military. In an apparent effort to rid the city of any semblance of its military history, various leftist groups, and even some city officials, are trying to erase the military’s presence altogether. In short, San Francisco has declared itself a military-free zone. … San Francisco’s attitude toward the military is evident in other areas as well. A group that calls itself the Bay Area Peace Navy has been on a quest to rid the city of Fleet Week and the spectacular, albeit loud, air shows of the Blue Angels. So far they’ve been unsuccessful, but give it time.

Fleet Week is in play? We’ll take that too!

Where should the Iowa be berthed? Let’s just say that in a Battle of San Pedro Channel between the Iowa and the Queen Mary, my money’s on the ship with the 16″ guns. Think of the pay-per-view revenue! And while few of us will ever get to see the Titanic at its final resting place, visiting the wreck of the QM off Palos Verdes would be a huge new tourist attraction in its own right.

We’ve covered the evolving debate over the Iowa in two prior posts (San Francisco Rejects “Some Military Honor Thing” (We Call It The Battleship Iowa), and San Francisco Rejects WW2 / Cold War Memorial on the Battleship Iowa). Recently, Senator Dianne Feinstein, stung by San Francisco’s refusal to host the ship she had the Navy mothball in the Bay Area for the city’s eventual use, has agreed to let any California city bid for the ship. Thus, our opportunity.

We urge city governments — especially LA and Long Beach — and the county to get behind this notion. Major funding could be provided by the studios and the Military Channel, provided they could sell DVDs in the museum store.

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*Yes, we know some will snigger that Cruise could easily be featured in the proposed SF museum as well — but we leave that kind of speculation to Defamer.
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Google Maps image of the Iowa moored in Suisun Bay, east of San Francisco, found using GoogleGlobeTrotting.com:

Technorati Tags: battlehip Iowa, Bay Area, hollywood, Los Angeles, navy, San Francisco, Southern California

This entry was posted on Friday, January 6th, 2006 at 1:50 pm by A Senior Administration Official and is filed under California Schemin'. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.