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That’s Not Rain, It’s “Mainly Dry”

Britain’s Meteorological Office — the equivalent of the National Weather Service — has issued guidelines to make the UK’s weather forecasting more uplifting. The Times of London says:

It is goodbye to those miserable showers and isolated storms. Prolonged sunshine is expected under new “positive” forecast guidelines issued by the Meteorological Office.

Britain may have a tendency for damp and drizzle, but there is no need for our television forecasters to rub it in. They have been told to look on the bright side and accentuate the positive in an edict from the national weather centre.

There is no need to dwell on a “small chance of showers” when “mainly dry” tells a better story. If there are “localised storms” then it must be “dry for most”. Clouds over Manchester mean generally clear visibility for motorway drivers.

The Daily Mail has more:

Other terms facing the axe include “heavy rain” (to be described as simply “rain”), occasional showers (”mainly dry”) and “often cloudy” (”generally clear”).

We look forward to the day this practice extends to all local news. For instance, “9,937,738 LA County Residents Not Killed in Freeway Shooting” or “No Wildfires In Much of Region.” Or — for the LA Times’ reported new focus on celebrity news — “Most Actresses Avoid Auto Accidents Yesterday.”

As a bonus, you could use the same headlines day after day.


H/t: Hit and Run

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2 Responses to “That’s Not Rain, It’s “Mainly Dry””

  1. 1
    Rodger Jacobs Says:

    And then there are the L.A. weathercasters who get big, sad dog eyes when they have to tell their viewers that rain is in the forecast. Whenever a storm lingers for more than two days, Fritz Coleman over at NBC 4 always says the same thing as he stands in front of the blue screen, “Don’t worry, folks, as the storm tracker shows we’re almost out of the woods.”

    Don’t worry? It’s fucking rain! I’m not worried about rain, Fritz. I’m worried about a ton of issues both political and personal and I can honestly say that rain is not one of them.

    Now, explain to me, Fritz, why we’re enduring 90-degree temperatures in October when our average temp this time of year is 69 at the beach.

  2. 2
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