Weekend Edition: We Find A Legitimate Way to Say “Hot New Sex Tricks” In A Headline!
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The current issue of Cosmopolitan caught our eye, and it’s not just because Scarlett Johansson is on the cover — althought that helped.
No, it was the headline “Hot New Sex Tricks.” We’re going to call the Federal Trade Commission with a false advertising claim. Why? It’s the word “new.” With perhaps three billion sexually active people on the planet, humankind’s favorite activity happens tens of millions of times per day. Extend that by the 200,000 or so years modern man has been around and you’ve got a lot of opportunity for invention. Back to back? Someone first tried it 175,291 years ago. In an airplane? Soon after December 13, 1903. Playing boy lion / girl lion? Really, really old. We just don’t think that researchers in Cosmopolitan’s laboratories (most likely editorial assistants out on the town Friday night) are going to top the collective creativity of all of humanity. Sorry. |
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