Independent Sources short takes on current events (”short” because that’s all they deserve):

Subway Rider Fails to Understand Concept of “Random“

In a story about the random searches on New York’s subways where police are searching every 10th person, one searched rider wondered out loud to a Times staff writer why he would have been selected in a random search. He then went on to mention his very good grades.

Independent Sources Take: Another living example of grade inflation.

Joey Buttafuoco charged with ammunition possession in California

Joey Buttafuoco, a car mechanic who made national headlines in the early 1990s when his teenage girlfriend shot and wounded his wife, has been charged with illegal possession of ammunition.

Independent Sources Take: Aren’t his 15 minutes up?

Sushi Showdown feeds aquarium programs

Sushi lovers can nosh on creations by some of the Tampa Bay area’s best sushi masters as they stroll amid the aquatic displays at the Florida Aquarium tonight. The menu also includes other Asian cuisine, plus sake, beer and wine.

Independent Sources Take: Do they have take-out?

Woman wants kids clothed on beaches

A do-gooder sent a letter to a town’s officials asking them to put a new rule in the town’s beach ordinances banning all nudity–including infants and children. She sent the letter after witnessing a few incidents where parents were letting toddlers run around naked at the beach.

Independent Sources Take: How many times do you think someone has told her to “get a life!”

Angelina Jolie officially becomes the most hittable Cambodian woman on Earth

A royal decree approving citizenship for actress Angelina Jolie was signed by King Norodom Sihamoni on July 31, Sok Sam Oeun, an official of the Council of Ministers, said Friday. Sok Sam Oeun said he was working through Jolie’s contacts in Cambodia to notify the 30-year-old actress of her new citizenship.

Independent Sources Take: Cambodia is on a roll, first fighting midgets then this! These guys certainly know how to market.

Hillary Clinton’s Dirty Tricks?

“It’s clear the Clintons and their attacks dogs and their surrogates are already stooping to throwing mud, which is not much of a shock,” said political strategist and campaign spokesman Michael McKeon. “They are very much afraid of Jeanine [Pirro].”

Independent Sources Take: Who woulda thought that Hillary would do whatever it takes to win a campaign?

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This entry was posted on Sunday, August 14th, 2005 at 9:29 pm by Insider and is filed under Funny ... to us, Weekend Edition / Features. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.