The Bush Administration’s evil plan to win elections and force Democrats to emigrate to Canada has been foiled … by the Dems. Reuters reports:

… official statistics show the number of Americans actually applying to live permanently in Canada fell in the six months after the election. … Data from the main Canadian processing center in Buffalo, NY shows that in the six months up to the U.S. election there were 16,266 applications from people seeking to live in Canada, a figure that fell to 14,666 for the half year after the vote.

Apparently the huge increase in traffic at Citizenship & Immigration Canada’s website shortly after the election didn’t convert shoppers to buyers.

This despite the fact that Canada …

• has a liberal party that actually calls itself the Liberal Party;
• has a former government minister, Carolyn Parrish, who stomped on a Bush action figure on national TV;
• is one step closer to the ultimate goal, France

The website Canadian Alternative lists more reasons for Americans to move to Canada. They sound like the Democratic party platform: universal public health care, no troops in Iraq, Kyoto protocol signatory, gay marriage, and — the #5 reason to move to Canada — the Canadian Senate has recommended legalizing pot (would toking a joint be a Kyoto-violating emission? - ed.)

And a best-selling Canadian author wrote a piece after last year’s election that should make the bluest blue-stater breathe a little heavy:

In 1867, Canada’s Fathers of Confederation dedicated their country to “peace, order and good government.” Meanwhile, the ideals set out in Thomas Jefferson’s Declaration of Independence were “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”

Back then, it was Americans who were the revolutionaries, putting in place institutions that were designed to frustrate the authority of governments. In contrast, counter-revolutionary Canadians saw the authority of political institutions as central to the well-being of their country.

America has long honored the individual fighting for truth and justice. Canadians, for their part, have tended to defer to elites who broker compromises between competing social groups.

…We Americans and Canadians are thus each 21st century expressions of the ideas of our ancestors — and the institutions they built. America honors traditionally masculine qualities. Canada honors qualities that are more traditionally feminine.

America honors the lone warrior fighting for truth and justice, the father who is master of his lonely house on the prairie — or a few good men planting the Stars and Stripes on a distant planet. Canada honors compromise, harmony and equality. Americans go where no man has gone before. Canadians follow hoping to make that new place livable.

So what happened to the great emigration of 2005? Why aren’t there hordes of Volvo-driving Californians and Massachusetts-ers (?) packing up their Carly Simon records and heading for the border? Is it the lack of Air America stations in Canada? Too many blue-food Tim Hortons and not enough red-state province Starbucks? The excitement of hoping there’s a Dean 2008 campaign?

Whatever the reason, we urge our Democratic friends to reconsider. Canada wants you. Please, go. No — really! We’ll write. Promise.

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Democrats invading (or not!) from the south, Danes from the north! Independent Sources is (somehow) The Truth Laid Bear’s #1 site for the unfolding Hans Island conflict — see our coverage here.

Technorati Tags: canada, politics, democrat

This entry was posted on Thursday, August 4th, 2005 at 2:46 pm by A Senior Administration Official and is filed under Funny ... to us. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.