An open letter to Richard M. Scrushy from Independent Sources:

July 10th, 2005

Dear Mr. Scrushy:

As part of our affirmative action program, Independent Sources is pleased to make you this offer of employment. We think you bring an important element of racial diversity to the blog’s staff not to mention what you could do to our “reported” net income.

We would like you to know how incredibly moved we were by your attorney’s closing comments comparing your prosecution for inflating Healthsouth’s earnings by $2.7 billion to the civil rights movement in the South. Yes, we can see the analogy; the two are almost the same thing. God Bless you for the sacrifices you have made.

The least we can do is help you in your time of need. Even though it has been reported that you made $300,000,000 as a result of accounting fraud under your watch, we understand that much of this money may be gone—having been spent on houses, boats, lawyers and a trophy wife. When we heard that a proud man like you needed to go back to work, we knew that we too must step up.

We would like to hire you to provide regular postings to Independent Sources covering current events and politics. If you look at the types of stories that we have been doing, we think you’ll get a feel for what we’d like you to do. Please look through the categories on the right side of this blog as well as the linked stories below:

• Mississippi Blues: That Lady From Court TV Done Me In Pretty Good
• Cambodian Midget Fighting League:
• Use a Penis Pump, Go to Jail

Richard, we would be proud and honored to have you added to our masthead and look forward to hearing from you.

The Independent Sources Editorial Team

www.independentsources.com

This entry was posted on Sunday, July 10th, 2005 at 10:00 pm by Insider and is filed under Funny ... to us, Shameless Self-Promotion. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.