Living in a cave can get lonely…

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she’ll see him later and walks away.

His wife glares at him and says, “Who the hell was that?”

“Oh,” replies the husband, “she’s my mistress.”

“Well, that’s the last straw,” says the wife. “I’ve had enough, I want a divorce.”

“I can understand that,” replies her husband, “but remember, if we get a divorce it means that you don’t get any more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Ferraris and Lexus’s in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours.”

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.

“Who’s that woman with Jim?” asks the wife.

“That’s his mistress,” says her husband.

“Ours is prettier,” she replies.

Hint: it isn’t the libertarians.

Link

… umm, I guess I’ve already been sold one …

Our long-time friend Jeremy Gilby emailed us a link to a story about the 40 Hottest Female Athletes of the Decade. Say what you want about the declining quality of investigative journalism, it is these stories that give us hope that there is still a role for that writer who throws himself into a topic and produces something of such importance.

The FoxxyNews piece in turn pointed to the Bleacher Report post that included pics of all 40 athletes. Of course we don’t really think of female athletes as hot or not. That is so shallow. After all these are accomplished athletes who’d like to be recognized for more than just their looks. So instead we like to rank them on how much we’d like to do them. Of course there really wasn’t a single one on the list who we wouldn’t want to take to bed–Tiger style that is. But tough choices have to be made so below you will find our most favorites of the Bleacher’s Top 40:

1. Not everyone would put Natalie Coughlin on their short list. But this gal has a smokin’ hot body that she used to win six gold medals. One wonders what else that body is capable of doing. Damn!

2. If all Serbians look like Ana Ivanovic then someone needs to tell me why we were bombing that shitty little country instead of raiding it Viking style. Damn. I hope they don’t hold a grudge:

3. No list of doable athletes would be complete without Allison Stokke, the high school pole vaulter who made near pedophilia almost socially acceptable:

Please note that we are purposely omitting the two most obvious (Maria Sharapova and Anna Kournikova) because they get automatic bids on to the list. Let’s face it, anyone missing out on their hottness is either gay or insane.

h/t: Jeremy Gilby

… to purchase double seats.

Source

The real answer is that he was never really in it. Down 8 to 1 to Jerry Brown in fundraising and 20 points behind in the polls, Newsom never had a chance. Citing family obligations in his decision to pull out, the only role these had in his decision to bail was that it was unlikely that even his family would vote for him. Newsom’s campaign strategy blessfully showed the limits of the impact of “campaigning 2.0″ on elections not to mention the ridiculous narrowness of his base (gays, progressives, and greens) beyond San Francisco’s city limits. Newsom’s team actually thought that by using Facebook, Twitter, and blogs that he’d be able to raise 50% more than the leading Democratic candidate did in the last election.

But the real problem was that there was nothing there for non-moonbat voters to sink their teeth into. He never did anything to demonstrate fitness for governor nor counter his well-deserved reputation for self-absorption.

The larger issue, which plays into some of the disillusionment of his staff, is that Newsom doesn’t have conversations – he lectures. The same guy who can speak smoothly at a town hall meeting never seems to shut down the informational fire hose and relate on a human level.

It might be fun for the lefties to believe that their viewpoints are the mainstream but if a politician doesn’t take the time to understand what the majority of voters really want then they are going to fail–numerous Twitter followers notwithstanding.

At the time of the alleged assaults, Ms. Williams was staying at a ramshackle trailer owned by Bobby Brewster and his mother, Frankie Brewster, in Logan County, about 50 miles from Charleston. Mr. Brewster had killed his stepfather at the trailer when he was 12, the authorities said, and served time at a juvenile facility. In July 1994, Mrs. Brewster shot and killed an 84-year-old woman she was looking after, also in the trailer, according to court records. She served six years at a state correctional facility and was paroled in 2000.

- New York Times

Why is there such surprise about Kanye’s boorish behavior at the MTV Awards? It’s not like it hasn’t happened before. He did this an at earlier MTV Europe Music Awards:

Upset that he didn’t win the best video at the MTV Europe Music Awards, rapper (and Katrina relief expert) Kanye West crashed the stage and cussed through a mindless tirade stating he deserved the award for his video “Touch the Sky”:

“F*ck dis! (My video) cost a million dollars, Pamela Anderson was in it, I was jumping across canyons and sh*t! If I don’t win, the awards show loses credibility. Nothing against you (J&S), but hell man.”

He further said that “If I don’t win, the award show loses credibility.”

He also has his own entry in Dickipedia that has several other outbursts at award shows charging racism whenever he didn’t win.

File this under asshole.

I like to run and I like to run listening to music. I used to carry an iPod but last year replaced that with an iPhone. That means I always have a camera with me. Thus, when I come across a find specimen like this, I can capture it. (Location: Venice Boardwalk).

Damn!

Great chart by California Forward showing inflation adjusted, per-capita spending for the formerly Golden State:

If only we could party like it was 1999, we’d reduce per-person spending almost 20%. And 1999 wasn’t so bad, was it?

British bride-to-be Haylie Hocking, 27, was set for her dream wedding until…

a friend spotted her other half, personal trainer Jason Brake, 30, in a porn movie.

The friend is said to have been looking for a male stripper online for Miss Hocking’s hen night when she spotted a movie clip with Mr Brake in it.

The couple met in 2008 at the garage where she worked and Miss Hocking described him as romantic and a “passionate lover”.

He moved into her flat after dating for six months and later proposed, buying her a diamond engagement ring.

Mr Brake, who had often gone away for weekends saying he was holding training sessions with clients, admitted he had been making a living from porn but said it was “only acting” and that he would have given up his career if she’d asked.

Brake noted that he “would be honest with women in future relationships.”

Source: ITN/Yahoo

Not sure the Chinese word for child abuse but when I learn it I’ll re-title this post.

h/t: Yadog